29 going on 30

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29 is an interesting age. With one foot in the 20’s and the other in the 30’s, it’s a good time to sit and take stock. Did I slide through the 20’s or did I stumble and struggle? If I get into the 30’s do I officially become an Aunty?

The movies have always given us a glossy and picture perfect notion of the 20’s being this colorful, glossy and fun filled’ period of our lives. Of course it is. It is the time we look our best, have boundless energy and there seems to be so much to look forward to. But ironically it is also the decade where we are expected to make the most crucial decisions of our lives; the ones that can make or break the next 30 years.  Up until then, we were at the mercy of our parents. They chose our school, our clothes (that was the worst!) and sometimes even our friends. We impatiently waited for the freedom to make our decisions, though the difficulty of making one and having to live with its ramifications  (without having anybody to put the blame on or worry about) didn’t occur to us to till then. The 20’s however hurled us at this threshold of taking responsibility for everything that was to unfold.  When it rains it does pour doesn’t it? We finally understood the advice that Spiderman had also received at a similar circumstance!

With so much being written about mid-life crisis, back in college, whenever we encountered an angry and irritable professor, we sniggered that midlife crisis was taking its toll. But to many of us who haven’t witnessed the stagnancy of mid life yet, the real crisis and I reckon the scarier one, is the one that erupts in the 20’s.So many questions. So many fears. No experience. No answers.

What do I want to do with my life? Doubts about whether the current job is my true calling. Should I relocate to a different city? Will I find love? Am I going to marry the person I am seeing?  Is it too fast and too soon?  Adding to the woes of parental and societal pressure is the pressure that you exert on yourself. What AM I doing??

Taking a moment to ponder at this weird crossroad of life, I do a quick SWOT analysis in my head. I think I got by ok.  I fought my demons. I had to face my fears, and woke up to reality, though I admit it was painfully slow. In the process, I found my passion, I met whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I parasailed, and saw the Himalayas.

The number of ticks on the ‘To-Do-List’ could have certainly been more. There were some missed opportunities, and lots of procrastination that could have translated into something productive. But on the whole there is a sense of calm.

The uncertainty seems to have dissipated, (at least momentarily) and the mind is less foggy. In a way I am relieved that I am done making those decisions.

Thus I begin the thirties with a sigh (of relief) and a smile.  

It all looks good.  

30 is just a number.

What is that? No I don’t hear the ticking of any godforsaken biological clock.

Delusion? Denial? Oh please.

Trekking next weekend?

Sure. Only that this niggle in my left knee has been bothering me for a while. I don’t know why.

Ouch.